Silly Silly

I guess being passionate isn't too good a thing.
People know my pattern, my stubborness, my persistence, my perserverance, and my passion.

Is it wrong to be passionate? Is it wrong to go all out, prove as much as you can, how much you can do? How far you can go? How insane you can get? How deep you can cut? How mad you'll be?

I know from the start, all that I had done wasn't the full showhand passion in me, else by now I would have already died the second time should nobody save me this time round. I don't even know what would happen when I showhand! The whole lot of silly stuff I could ever do for anyone. The whole lot of crazy ideas I can ever come up with to surprise anyone. The whole lot of time I can spend just to get a big mission done for anyone. Feeling so accomplished and hope it'd bring the most happiness in you, the luckiest soul alive. Haha. What a fool I've always been, only to laugh at myself for being so silly. Haha. Laugh with me now! I guess I can join the guiness world record or something, or create some lasting impact somewhere down in history. Where everyone knows this is what I did.

I am hoping I would be brave enough to showhand one day. And then scream when I've finally made someone happy and fortunate enough. Haha. Doubt there'd be such a day tho! But I must learn to be optimistic! A slim chance is also a chance!

I guess I need to keep remind myself so I can slowly pull myself away from this spell. I must remind myself I'm just a nobody, I don't have to worry or care and probe so much even tho I'm dying to know. I must stop being a pain and take more steps back. I must remember that I'm not needed, if I'm not there then so be it. I might not even be noticed, let alone remembered! For I must keep remind myself this is it, this is the way it is, I must stop lying to myself that my presence would make a difference. I cannot bring happiness, I must learn to walk away. And think on the bright side that there would very well be people she can respond to. Which is a good thing! So I know all's fine and good. Actually why am I worrying so much? I don't even know. Something must be wrong with me.

CY, people got hands got legs and is alive and kicking! Are you like nothing better to do and worry so much for what? Worry for yourself more pls! 10 years down the road, the sight or mention of you might not even be remembered!

I just need to tell myself I will be fine.
I must stop to breathe, cherish and love people who have always been loving me. I must think of everything else.

I'm optimistic. I will be fine.