Stop it

Loser. Stop it.
Walking in the rain.. so lame..
Tearing in your eyes.. stupidity.
Not worth it..
Nobody will see it
Even if anybody does they'd probably think you're mad or something
And nobody will care for you cos reality is harsh
They can only act and pity you
Loser

And pls stop being so negative
Only making yourself live in pain
Life goes on
The earth still spins
It wont slow down and wait for you to heal
While everyone moves on
You cant be stuck there
It is harsh
But you still have to walk on
It is sad
You still have to crawl

Be sad for all you want
Get over with it
The people you love may not love you
You wish they can walk up to you
Console you
Thou you sure can act like you're okay
At least it shows a lil they pity you
And you pray they genuinely care instead of mere pity
But nobody will walk up to you
They may not even see you or remember you
They just walk away
Either they don't bother a shit
Or they know they'd get shit from you even if they walk to you
So don't need to sad somemore
Just cause you hope people will come to you
Please wake up
You're not important at all

When you're lost
You want to turn to someone
And even many of them
But you never once did
How many times has this already happened
You never change
You still get angry with yourself
Want to fly home
Then on your computer
Act okay and come to the blogger screen
And type like some siao lang
When nobody will even read
Even if they do they'd get bored halfway
Because you're just a girl who forever don't learn
Never wake up
Like that how to move on

You always say happiness is what you seek for
But so many things has happened
And you're just a loser idealizing perfection
You force yourself to be happy
You entertain people
Maybe you're a bit happy when you feel they appreciate you
Maybe you're a bit happy when you feel they really enjoyed your company
Then so what
Some people only entertain you back for the sake of it
Like for what

If don't like my entertainment
Just tell me
Don't make me waste my time
Doing so much
Only to realise I don't need to do all these
Because it's not appreciated
Just wasting your time
Thinking if they've reached home
Thinking if they missed you
Thinking if they genuinely want to spend time with you
Thinking if they are your friends
Notice I don't even dare to say love
I only say friends

Actually you know it
You just dont wanna admit it
That you'll probably not get the idealization you always wanted
Because people have flaws
So after so much
Stop making yourself worry so much for others
Because they might and most probably not worry as much for you
Stop going too deep for everything
Sometimes shallow a bit
Even if you get hurt you can heal faster
Then also try not to be sad too often
Or else people will cry with you
If that's what they say
And if you naively / sincerely believe

Plus you just need to keep remind yourself
Doing too much may not mean you'll get back as much
Because different people care differently
And you never know what's in their minds
Humans are scary and unpredictable
And of course I am one of the most unpredictable one

And having emo-ed so much
Please spare a thought for people who appear to really care
Please do stand in their position and understand how much they worry about you
And pls dont neglect them
Because they're your friends too
And dont forget to spend time to reply them
Dont lose them because for all you know
They may be the one who are quietly encouraging you

And just to repeat somemore
Dont forget you also should not do too much for people who may not appreciate
Because you only become more sad
Go around complaining to innocent people
Who are not even supposed to be involved

And so also learn to go appreciate
What people done for you
Please dont be so inflexible
Doing for others who dont care
Then neglecting others who care
Then later you come crying again
Giving up on the one you care like shit
Then others giving up on you cos you didnt care what they did for you

So all in all
I have not finished
But I am so tired
I am human
And you're human
We are all humans

You always lie to yourself
And talk to the innocent people
Cos it makes you feel better
But in fact
You're just a coward
Refusing to face the facts
Once you lose
You think it's the end of the world
Once you never get what you hope for
You treat the world like shit and scold everybody

Have you realised
Till to date
How many innocent friends have you complained to
How many people have you showed your attitude who dont even deserve it

If you still dont want to change
Nobody can help you
Please continue to pray
You'll find somebody to help you

And my fingers are so tired
So in conclusion
Stop the self denial
Try to find yourself
I know it's hard
But please try to find the real self

And don't forget that
Whatever decisions you make
You bear the consequences
So make it wisely
If you can't decide
Remain status quo
And believe that all will come naturally

But before I end
I want to emphasise again
PCY please start to think
Who will care for you
And who are just pitying you
And who are laughing at you
So please open eyes bigger a bit
See whether you've been too foolish
Whether you believed people too much
Or your heart is too soft

But talking about heart
You're like so weird
Just admit it
You basically dont know what you want
Thats why sometimes you end up talking crap
Like now

So I hope you can find yourself soon

I salute people
Who actually bothered to read through every single line