People Go, Memories Stay

On my way home, I wondered how long does one take to forget someone / something.
Disappointment. Fear. Jealousy. Relationships. Anger. Pain. Envy.
One minute? One night? One day? One year? One decade?
I don't know where do I stand.

Alex - The impression you left me brought me depression.
It's just another one of those days, suddenly you came to my mind, but don't worry about it, you'll be gone again in no time.

TM - I'm sorry when I don't care for you.
CT - I'm sorry I may have hurt you.

WHO WHO WHO.
Have you cared for me enough?
Have you not hurt me enough?
No, not intended at anyone, don't start to think whether it's you I'm talking about cos it's not. It's just some general thoughts that came by today.

I wonder if anybody now would bother to pamper me, hoax me with some cute stuff, cute actions, whatever and anything. I wish I were still a little girl, doted by many with little gifts, gentle hugs, light kisses, suddenly, out of the blue, random, surprise.

No occasion, no nothing. Purely to make me feel like a total spoilt brat.

Perhaps I miss the feeling so much that now I start to pamper and dote others as much as I could. I wonder if they would be happy, some totally showed they loved it,(real / fake I don't know) and never knew the quiet, sad and cold girl could be so warm and sweet. Some were either too stunned or just didn't feel a thing, I can only guess and imagine and hope they're truly happy. Who knows, it wouldn't surprise me if they think I've some ulterior motive. Nah, I don't, it just comes to a point I no longer can receive, so why not give? At the very least, when I see them happy, it brought me a little satisfaction and happiness. It's my one and only way left of trying to brighten up my own day. As much as people are trying to cheer me up, I'm trying to cheer myself up too. I've tried, I guess I've failed. At least I've tried.
Now that I've said my piece, I feel slightly better.

I am so, so tired. Even typing this makes me want to cry. I hardly have any happy posts, maybe I expect too much and that's why I'm 99% unhappy.
I would love to treasure my 1%, which I can barely feel. And as I'm typing this, I'm losing it.

It's like a drama show;
When I want you, you want her;
When you want me, I want him;
When you gave up, I held on;
When I gave up, you held on;
What will become of us?

People Go, Memories Stay.