I'm sick and tired of asking...

I'm sick and tired of asking...
It comes to a point when you'll just get so tired of everything you had done or are in fact still doing...
I don't even know why I do what I do...
I feel like giving up.. giving everything up..
I've thought a lot, but that probably only helped one bit...
I.. don't.. know.. what.. else.. to.. do..
Because...
I really feel like giving up.
Giving up something that wasn't really something from the start.
Giving up something that wasn't really meant to be that something from the start.
Giving up something that wasn't really what I was supposed to be from the start.
I can hear square one calling me..
To return to where I came from.. many years ago..
Sighs..
I know my blog is so hard to read.. nobody catches a single ball when I beat about the bush and then don't return to what I was saying...

Yeah.. It was probably my fault for expecting too much..
Expecting something that I wasn't even supposed to expect.
You've never once asked what I want, whether I was happy and whatever thing.
You couldn't care less, or probably you just don't bother.
Or you really thought I was happy..
I sure was, faking happy.
I wish I could lower my expectations..
Some people say it's the character that makes the difference.
I agree.. it was just boredom and foolishness that made me got you.

I always tell people I will do everything and whatever it takes to make them happy.
So who will be the kind soul that will do everything and whatever it takes to make me happy? Just once? Even once I'd be happy. Is that too much!?!!

I want to know what's happiness.
I want a taste of it.
But I don't get it.
It was way, way out of my expectations.
I could only wish for it.

I keep everything to myself.
That's cause you don't even know you're the one that made me unhappy.