Selective

I'm a selective informer.

I only inform people who in my opinion ought to know my presence or disappearance. I don't think I need to tell you about it, I don't see you telling me about your disappearance when you MIA-ed for days too. So why should I tell you? =)

You said something like the whole world knows except you. I could see you burning. But I didn't felt a thing. Nice one. Define the whole world please? To me, my whole world is full of people I love, people I appreciate, and people I respect. You're not in my world. Sorry about that. Again, all I can say is too bad. Sometimes, I do wish I can tell you in your face and teach you how to control your temper, your emotions and your own ego. I find it a miracle you can survive for so many years, probably because you do know your work, and you also know how to guai lan at the correct timing. Another nice one. I'm fortunate enough I ain't directly under you now, but I don't really care much anyways. I'm leaving soon. I'll miss my whole world, at least the world I met there, and I just think I need to repeat that you're not in my world.

A leopard never changes its spots. I don't think you'll ever fall under my whole world. Day one, I liked you. Day two, I probably still do. The other days onwards, I saw your true colours and I don't like you anymore. I act very well infront of you, I guess you're also just acting around me. Life's an act anyway. I can take all your shit now, I have to because I am new.

Today, I asked around the whole world about a file, and then nobody claim it's theirs. At last, I got back to you again. Each time I get to you, I'm nice because I know you love to feel like you're the big boss. You're the biggest of it all. You can throw your weights about and you're dowager. I always appear nice becuase I know you need it, you need people to feel like they're scared of you, that they'll listen to you like a dog, and that they'll let you scold even if it's entirely your fault.

Today, you pushed the blame to a third party, it may or may not be her fault. You never even think about you misplacing it. Never. The first confident line you spoke was maybe so and so misplaced it. Then you added with a fake thanks. And I gently carried on with a sweet sweet welcome. I wonder, will you ever think you're wrong, for once? Or will you continue to push all blames onto others, and think that you're the perfect creation of all, you're the experienced one of all, you're the top of it all.

Sometimes I wonder again, how you think and how you manage to push it all away, and act like you're the best still. You made me realised how scary you are and probably how cunning, or egoistic you're. I can't find an exact word to describe you. Sometimes you look like you know but you plainly denied it your way. You mean, you don't feel any guilt at all? Sometimes you throw your weight about and take it all out on my friend, who doesn't know much either. Do you ever think back? You mean you knew everything, and had very high expectations of yourself when you first started too? Probably you do, because you're egoistic.

You know what? Of all things, I can't stand EGOISTIC AND SELF CENTERED PEOPLE. Oh yes, talking about self centered. Do you remember the day I was using the token and you popped by and took it away from me? You insisted that it'll still work. I had no choice but to give it to you. Because I am second handed, I always need to wait for you to finish everything before I get to use it. You must clear your work first. You're big, you're so very the big. And when an error occurs, I nicely went to your room to tell you about it. I was burning too. Hey come on, I got it first, I came early to get it from you and I have my own work to do. Then you came over and took it away from me, disrupting my work. So you were eventually convinced that oh yea, I do need the token or I'd be stuck there. And again, I was nice, I asked you to pass it back to me after you've finished. That incident made me realised something about you again. If I had something to do, oh well, I mean if I'm already doing something halfway, and you come over, I must cancel everything I've done so far because once you need something, you MUST have it. Or you'd cock up some excuses, or show some faces, or just find any reasons to scold. Because you think you're empress, you're the best, everything you need, you get it at once. Fine, I give it to you. I have to stop my work, cancel everything, start from scratch after you're done. It's okay, you're not disrupted anyway, it's me and my work, it doesn't fall under your business.

Another incident, you took some paper hit my head, yeah probably I was surfing around but what about you yourself? I've heard from my friend that you've much more junk around your mails, and you dare to act like you're really so goddamn hardworking and I can't even surf something. Right. You're getting on my nerves. I know I'll never be able to survive if I don't have all other nice peeps around me. So far so good, at least all the others are friendly and I guess easy to get along. But if I had more contact and dealings with you, I would probably have left during the very first week. I really can't stand you.

Initially I still thought to myself that oh actually it's not that bad, at least some scoldings will make it more memorable, make us a lil scared and remember and be careful. But then as time goes by day by day, again and again, I do agree with my friend that you're really really, (should I say, too much?)

Actually I didn't want to blog so much, I also don't know why but I just can't stop typing. I can't wait to leave, I will miss all the people, except you. I haven't reach the I hate you stage, but I already did blacklist you.

I wish someone could tell you to know your limits. (I don't think limit is a word in your dictionary tho.)

Do note that guai lanness is my forte, I might just burst one day, you never know and I myself don't know either. Just had something to say: Sometimes, if you can't take it lying down, I can only say: TOO BAD.